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Never again.... Never again!

Yesterday was the Super Bowl and I have a very strict anti-Super bowl policy. In fact, I used to watch anime all day during the Stupor Bowl, but I didn't do that this year or last year. I haven't been into anime much these days, so I gave up on the Anime Bowl, but I may bring it back someday.

But last night I watched The Simpsons for a few hours, but I had a bottle of red grapefruit wine which I was drinking, and it was delicious! No matter how delicious it was however, drinking the entire bottle myself was extremely ill-advised.

Normally I get an instant hangover, but this time I had a pretty rough hangover in the morning. Actually I have felt terrible all day. I don't know if I feel this way because of drinking an entire bottle of wine, or if I may have inadvertently amplified the wine cause I was eating watermelon Sour Patch Kids when I was drinking, but it was a terrible life choice. Absolutely this pits and I will never do anything like that again.

And a little epilogue to this, drinking lots and lots of water is the best way to combat a hangover. But seriously, never again.

I do have and interesting food hack. I made homemade salsa and I had mozzarella sticks, when you dip mozzarella sticks in homemade salsa, it opens up a whole new world of flavors. Either that or I was super drunk and that's just drunk food.

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Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.  I don't think I'll ever be in a place where I can talk about it.

But in my despair I have written 3 weeks worth of Krimson Post articles.  Uh...  Backing up, for those of you who don't know, in my favorite game The Evil Within, Sebastian finds newspapers that give little tidbits into what's going on in the story or about Sebastian's back story.  I noticed those sub-headlines one day and took pictures of them on my phone so I could read the sub-headlines better.  So fast forward to a few days after I did that I started @thekrimsonpost on Twitter.  So each and every Sunday (except for the time when a story/ article was taking so long that I had to post on Monday and that other week that I set to post on Sunday, but ended up posting on Monday), since I started it back in March I have written articles that correspond to those sub-headlines.  That's kinda why I haven't been writing fanfiction, because that's more or less weekly fanfiction.

However, there have been weeks where I struggled to come up with something to write and at best, if I'm feeling a spark of creativity I can do two articles in one week, but never 3.  And if it wasn't for the fact that my brain felt like it was going to explode, I would do Krimson Post articles until the end of the year.  But that's the only thing I can say good about today and all I am willing to discuss today.

And speaking of The Krimson Post, I don't know how long I can keep up doing it.  There are a very finite amount of stories I can write and since March I have written/ published 35 articles (and that doesn't include the ones that are pending- that takes me up to 38 articles), but some of the sub-headlines I can't get a good image of to make a story for, then there are two stories I won't do because they're rather inflammatory and I don't want to upset people.  But out of 80 something odd stories and 38 completed, I only have 40 to possibly 50 stories left.  That probably will take me into the middle of next year and with no new Evil Within game on the horizon anytime soon...  I'll have to probably end up giving up the Krimson Post at some point.  I don't know?  Maybe I'll tackle the main articles, but that seems a bit daunting.

I'm in love and it's not good...

Man, I was supposed to be talking about my disgust with the election, but I listened to that White Wine Spritzer song by that Ned Flanders band Okilly Dokilly and now my life is ruined!  It's been a long ass time since I had a song on endless repeat...  Geez, when was the last time a song had me this captivated?

...

I don't even know, but it's been awhile.  And while I do love this song to no end, I already know what this year's song of the year is going to be and I don't want to change it because it's so apt for this awful year.  While the song of the year may be already chosen, I do love White Wine Spritzer so very much.  I just hate it when I love a song, because I tend to have it on endless repeat and this time is no exception.

May be moving on...

I'm thinking about discontinuing my LJ.  Yes I know I paid a small fortune to have a "permanent" account back in 2007, but in doing my weekly Krimson Post I realized that I think I like Wordpress a little better.  So at the end of this year, I think I'm going to say goodbye to my beloved LJ and move on to Wordpress.

I feel a little guilty, but I think the change will be a good one.  Besides, I'll always have my LJ.  I won't completely close the account, it just won't be updated after December 31st.

I think I may have an actual problem...

Where to begin...?  Let's start with my last LJ entry.  I did end up telling the woman how I felt, but it was just rebutted with stuff that was just plain irrelevant and just as I was going to try to wade through the driving sea of irrelevance, that was when the guy in Missouri was killed.  I actually watched the entire Facebook video of what happened and it shook me up terribly, then what followed sent me into a serious depression, which only got worse as I saw what always happens after things like this, the justifications, the weird rationalizations, the endless back and forth of X group should be grateful to have whatever, or X group of people put their lives on the lines everyday...  Even thinking about makes me terribly upset.

My own personal stance is what many have been trying to say, but are rarely heard.  That you can be for equal treatment of people and be for law enforcement, without having the choose a side.  Why must a side be chosen?  Grrrr...

I still can't really cope with all this back and forth.  Every time I think about it, it makes me cry and I never thought something like this would so deeply hurt/ effect me.  Even now I'm crying...  I hate social injustice and even more I hate feeling powerless to do anything about it.

Regardless of the endless back and forth I have actually become agoraphobic.  I have things that I need to do, but the idea of driving alone in my car fills me with terror now.  I have been needing to go out and run errands for a few days now, but I can't bring myself to go out without someone going with me, preferably Jose.  Saturday I have a music lesson and I'm fairly confident I can make it to my lesson, but if I had to go farther than LOP, the thought is really quite literally sending cold chills up my spine and making my stomach hurt.

I know, I know, logically I shouldn't be like this.  In the 3 years that I've had my driver's license, I've only been stopped once and the encounter wasn't bad, but it's the fear of the unknown I have.  The idea that if something awful did happen to me, everyone (i.e. the media) would go out of their way to justify why I deserved what happened to me.  "Oh she was into video games, so she's a bad person".  Or "She liked strange things, so she's a bad person". "Or have you seen her X Social Media page?  Oh she was a really terrible person".  Or God forbid they found this (or my old Mydiary.org page) and started nosing through the few open entries I have...  I am very afraid of "what if" and the unknown and it's not good.

I looked at the Mayo Clinic page on Agoraphobia and pretty much I have many of the symptoms which isn't good at all.  I don't know what to do honestly?  I know I should probably see a doctor about this, but...  I am really against endlessly taking medicine.  I have to figure out something though, because this is not good or normal.

If I should ever be adventureous enough...

So I screwed over my phone today.  I was watching the news yesterday and they were talking about smart phones getting hacked into, so they suggested that you encrypt the phone or put it into encryption mode.  Oy, talk about the worst decision I EVER made!  Damn.  My poor phone kept shutting off and rebooting...  It was going nuts!  So after taking it to the store (which was a grandiose waste of time), I called tech support and just barely got them to have me do some kind of weird reboot.  The upshot is I got my phone to work.  The downside is I lost EVERYTHING!  Well, mostly everything.  All my music playlists with the exception of two are gone, and I just redid last month after getting a bigger memory card too.  95% of my game I have to begin again, which really blows when it comes to my Angry Birds collection of games.  Man, some of those I had the levels on 100% cleared too.  Another hurt piece was my Japanese cat game Michiri Neko (Stuck together Cat) Dash.  I had just gotten up to 205 gold coins too and was going to purchase the 100 gold coin cat!  Alas it is all gone.

This isn't the main point of my entry.

While I was trying to rebuild the sad remains of my phone, I had to re-imput ringtone designations for people, because those were gone too (at least this is an easy fix unlike the games).  While I was doling out ringtones, I saw that I had kawaii_neko23's address, so I was curious.  I put her address into Google Maps to see how long it would take me to drive to her house from my house.  Given that I don't like to drive highways, it would take two days and four hours to drive to her house from my house.  And...  Uhhh...  Given that I have to go through the deep, deep, deep, deep, DEEP South...  I don't know if I would make that drive alone (or even with someone truth be told).  Right off the cuff they had me going through Alabama, then going through Mississippi, then through Louisiana.  Uh....???  They aren't really places that are known for acceptance of those of a different ethnicity.  I may be wrong, but I don't think I am adventurous enough to dare try.

I couldn't sleep and already this week is shaping up to be just as fucked up and awful as last week was, but I couldn't sleep and so I grabbed my phone and started to thumb through Facebook and I see that David Bowie passed away.

I'm actually crying about this.  Normally when a celebrity passes away, it either has no effect on me or I'm mildly sad about it.  This, however, has me very upset.  I don't think I have been this heartbroken since Jim Henson, Vincent Price, Robin Harris, and George Carlin died.

I never knew about David Bowie until the movie Labrinth came out and I fell in love.  He was such an amazing villain and so handsome.  Plus, his voice was enchanting.  And I like to die during that ballroom scene.  I even semi-named my favorite teddybear after the Jerith character, although for years I thought the characters' name was Jerrod and not Jerith, hence why I only semi-named him.

However, through the years, I always pronounced my unwavering crush on David Bowie and even when he model Imani married decades ago, I wasn't upset because I thought they made an excellent couple!

Alas, he is gone now and there is a tiny hole in my heart.  I'm also pissed that it couldn't be someone useless like Hugh Hefferner, Dick Cheney, or any one of those Koch fucktards!  No, it's always someone who makes people happy.

The world will miss you David Bowie and I will miss you too.  But you will always live on in my memory as the babe.

What babe?

The babe with the power.

What power?

The power of voodoo?

Who do?

You do.

Do what?

Remind me of the babe!

Oooh I forgot about the yule nog!

I mean legitimately forgot about it too.  It wasn't until a second ago when I was looking at stuff on Facebook book that it reminded me.

So let me make this quick. I got a buttload of Resident Evil stuff while I was in Japan, so I didn't get a lot of presents, but I did get two more nutcrackers for the expansion of the 27th Nutcracker Brigade.  The kids also get me a Build-a-bear gift card and I made a sloth and a bunny.

The holiday was nice. Everyone enjoyed their gifts and the day was pretty much a good day.

This weird guy...

I was waiting for Jose and his co-worker at Tachikawa station tonight and I was just sitting quietly listening to music on my phone, when this guy walks past me.  An older man with a scraggly beard and mustache, and he's starting at me...  I mean not just a casual glance, but full on hardcore staring at me.  Normally when I'm in Japan, no one pays me even a second glance.  For the most part people will quickly glance at me and just go about their daily business.  The only time I ever got hard stares like that were from the two little kids when I was on the train in the summer.  But they were kids and had probably never seen an African-American person that wasn't on television, let alone a few feet away from them.  But I was looking at them too, because they were so terribly adorable, with those hats they on!  It was so cute, I couldn't help but stare.

But this was different.  This guy kept staring and at first I saw him and I just blew it off like, well ok, I know I'm kinda obviously different.  Plus I had sparkles near my left eye, I was wearing a white dress, red sweater, and have pink hair.  So you kinda can't miss me!  But then he says something.  I pull my earbuds off to see if I can hear what he's saying, but there's so much hustle and bustle around me that I couldn't hear him.  Plus, duh, I don't speak Japanese that well!  But he's saying something and looking, but I can't hear or understand him, so I just smile and nod.  But he continues to stare and speak, so I continue to smile and nod.  Finally after about a good near minute of this, he starts to walk away, but he's still looking at me.  Finally he disappears into the massive flux of people coming in and out of Tachikawa station.

I will never know what his deal was or why he was so fascinated with me.  I wish I knew what it was all about though.  I hate when weird moments don't have a resolution.

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Bright lights big prefecture

Last night we got into Japan.  I forget how long the flight is.  We left Tampa at about quarter of six to catch our 8 AM flight to Detroit and then had to pretty much motor over to our next flight, because it boarded about 30 minutes after we came in.  But it was pretty much a 12 hour flight to Tokyo from Detroit.  12 hours of pretty much sitting in one place and remaining in sunlight too.  The sun didn't set until we landed and were on the 2+ hour bus ride over to Tachikawa.  Thankfully the entire trip to the hotel was uneventful.  It didn't get weird until we got to the hotel and there was some mix-up about our room and Jose went all wiggy, which made the people at the front desk uncomfortable and it made me uncomfortable as well, because I know Japanese people don't really like the whole conflict thing. 

Sigh...

But we got it all sorted out.  Our hotel is ok.  I don't like it as much as I did The Forest Inn Showakan.  That was a very nice hotel.  Here the lobby is pretty, but our room is kinda small and we don't have a nice view like we did there.  Our view here is of the neon lights of the Takashimaya department store building and the Tama Monorail sky bridge.  But if I want to buy stuff there's plenty of stores here.  They have a record store I need to go to as well as a Book Off which I haven't been to in about a thousand years. 

Side note:  For those of you who don't know, Book Off is a bookstore which I discovered in New York City by accident. They had much better prices than Kinokuniya bookstore too.

Then there is the Lumine Mall by the train station and the aforementioned Takashimaya department store.  So there's tons to buy over here, a lot of really cool looking eateries too, but no cute forest to wander through.  No peaceful and quiet grounds to walk around.  It's pretty much all concrete jungle over here.

In a way, this is why I was feeling a little apprehensive about this second trip so soon.  I was worried that this trip wouldn't be as amazing at the first time.  Grant it, the first time going anywhere is always going to be amazing, because it's the first time, but so far I'm not feeling as attached to things like I was when we stayed in Akishima...  Which I guess is ok, but I don't know, I feel like something is missing this trip and it's something I won't have this time around. 

I guess I shouldn't make any real judgements because it's only the first full day here, so we'll see how the next 14 days pan out.  Besides, I still have yet to return to Harajuku, Akiharaba, or make my trips over to Shibuya, Tokyo, and if I really feel up for adventure Roppongi.  I don't know about that last one...  There's a part of me that wants to go to Roppongi, but there's another part of me that's like screw that noise, I'm not going over there.  I haven't made up my mind about going to Roppongi yet.

I wanted to go to Akiharaba today, but my right ankle is killing me.  I noticed when I was taking a shower last night, that ankle was super swollen.  I just chalked it up to being on a plane for 12+ hours, but now it hurts really badly.  I guess I'll have to break out the Advil and hope for the best.

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