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Displaced anger....

Yeah it's been awhile since I had to break out the Volgin icon, but it needed to be broken out today.  I have had the worst week I've had in awhile at work.  Its once again one of those weeks where everything is my fault.  Things not in charts, late paperwork, old problems...  Yes even if I had nothing to do with it, it was all my fault.

However this time I went and told my boss Joann how I was feeling, cause at this point today I was really ready to say, fuck it all, pack up my desk, and leave forever.  But I calmed down enough to actually go downstairs and talk to my boss Joann and tell her how I felt.  And really, I don't think anything will get accomplished, but I got some things off my chest that needed to be said.  I said that I didn't get along with my co-worker Annette.  Although Joann was quick to say I don't like her.  Which is true I don't like her, not even a little bit.  She has to tell everyone's business to Joann and she can't think for herself at all.  And really Joann needs to be on a need to know basis.  Joann doesn't need to know everything!

And then not only does Annette tell everything, but she only tells her side of it and her version of it which is always wrong.  Believe me, I've sat there and listened to everything she tells Joann and it's always wrong and it's always her side of the story.  And Joann always takes her word for it and never asks anyone else what's going on, which is the entire reason why I don't like her.

However, I did not tell Joann I didn't like her (even though Joann did say, "You don't like Annette.") I told her that I didn't get along with her and was quick to correct her when she said I didn't like her.  But I have to get along with her cause it's "a large part of my job".  Sigh...

I know, I know...  If I hate work why don't I just quit.  I am trying to look for another job cause I have really had it with Bayada.  Me and that job aren't compatible and if I am forced to work with someone I absolutely hate with every fiber of my being, then I can't stay there for much longer anyway.  I am trying to get some previous goals accomplished before I try to leave.  But it doesn't matter.  I realize now that I can't be happy working for others.  In order to be really happy I have to be in business for myself.

I want to start doing wedding consulting seriously.  I want to be free of the cattyness of co-workers being blamed for everything under the sun.  And I'm not so naive that I don't think I'm going to have bad days as a wedding consultant, but at least I would be happier doing what I'm paid to do instead being miserable chained to a desk for 8 hours.

Besides, I know you guys are tired of hearing me whine about how much I hate work and I would love for you guys to hear about me whine about how I have a bridezilla or have to deal with insane mothers of the bride and groom.  Oh well...

I have my business cards and I really have to start buckling down and start my business plan and start to accomplish some goals so I can make those dreams of leaving that roach ridden death trap forever.

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