aachannoichi (aachannoichi) wrote,

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I find it kinda funny...

That all weekend, Friday through Sunday, I went through the weekend without an insomnia and without any strange dreams, but the second Monday rolls around, here come the strange dreams and the insomnia.  And see, this last dream it totally work related, there are no hidden meanings, there is no double entendre; it was just flat out, my possible future situation and how I handled it.

What happened was I had a dream my boss Joann wasn't talking to me and I kinda knew I was going to be fired.  So I went downstairs and talked to Joann and said to her, "Look, you've wanted to fire me for a long time now and just never had a justification to do so.  You haven't been talking to me and I know how it goes.  So how about this, I'm just going to clean out my desk and leave right now."  So I calmly walk out of her office and let my mother know that I was leaving.  After that I take the elevator upstairs, but I wake up before I get to my office.

So yeah, you can't get anymore blatantly work related then that.  Although, and this is just f-in' weird, during the entire time I was talking to Joann, I was thinking in the back of my mind, "crap, now I won't be able to afford my Metal Gear dolls."  Yes I know, even in times of crisis, even in my dreams, I still worry about my hobbies...  Yeah, I know only me right?

But really, I don't know why I'm so worried.  It's not like I plan on staying in that dump for the rest of my life.  It wasn't even like I was planning on staying there for another 2 years or so.  So why am I so upset about this whole Linda thing?  I'll tell you why, because the way it happened and the reason it happened was just pure bullshit.  And even though I don't plan on staying there much longer it sucks that I have to even question my job security.  Dude, I shouldn't be awake at 3:30 in the morning worrying about that crap!  Not for that rinky-dink place anyway.  I could see if this was like some job where I was making an assload of money and I really cared about my work and all that good stuff, but not for that place.  Hell no...  I am so disgusted that I have to even second guess myself...

Oh the hell with this crap!  Anytime I start having work related insomnia (which I have had quite a few times, but have chosen to ignore) it's time to get the hell out.  I know what I have to do, I just have to get off my ass and do it.  Yes kiddies, the time to move on is now.  I just hope I can get out before I'm thrown out.  But you know what, even in this dream I was the one to end it.  That's all I'm asking to be the one who ends this job.  I deserve at least that tiny bit of satisfaction.
Tags: frustration, insomnia, work rant

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