Why? Why was it so bad?!
When I saw the trailer for it back in May at E3, it looked so promising and that was a promise that not only wasn't fulfilled, but stomped, kicked, pummeled, and spat on before it died. But let me explain why?
For openers, I was only on part 9 or 10 of watching dude play and I pretty much had the entire plot figured out. Part 9 or 10 is still the beginning of the game. Really your story shouldn't be that easy to figure out and the fact that I had the whole sick sad story completely broken down is just a mess. And not only was the story contrived it was also not scary.
How do you not scare me with a zombie game?! Dude, that should be a given that I'll get nervous and freaked out by zombies but nope, not in this game! Grant it, one of the things Jose was talking about with this game was if you make noise while playing it (because the X-cocks Uno uses the camera thing to track heartbeats and sounds or whatever) more zombies will be generated. Same thing if your heart is beating faster it will make more zombies generate. And while this is a cute concept, it still didn't save me from being more bored and annoyed at the plot than scared. And I don't know if dude I was watching play was getting a boatload of zombies due to his heart racing or him making noise in the background, but either way it didn't matter, because why? I never got scared.
How is it you don't scare me!? I am pretty much the easiest person on the planet to scare. I have screamed at those little frogs that hangout around my house, I was once rendered catatonic by a spider (actually I cried like a baby after seeing that sucker), and I have jumped because a tiny little lizard has crossed my path; so with that being said, what were you doing wrong Crapcom, that I didn't once jump, scream, or even feel slightly nervous in watching all of Dead Rising 3?! And it was a zombie game and I have a massive fear of zombies too! Come on now! The should have been a slam dunk in the terror department, but no... I mean even Resident Evil 6 made me cringe in fear. Although that was only when I watched Leon's game, but still.
I don't know, this was a major disappointment. I was all ready to be climbing the walls scared but what I got instead was Grand Theft Auto with zombies. I was half expected Tommy Vercetti to come walking out of nowhere and scream, "You happy now?! Asshole!" Actually that would have been a lot better than the game I got. Hopefully the other games on my much watch list will pan out better than this one did. And to quote what I said on my old podcast once, "Capcom, you never cease to disgust me, at all. You never cease to make me vomit a little in my mouth!"