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Ok let's clear the air people!

For the second day this week I am compelled to talk about an issue that effects me and my fellow plump ladies.

So a man that I greatly admire, Mr. D.C. Douglas had posted this question up on his blog, oddly enough in his not safe for work section, but that's rather irrelevant.  But a lady asked a question why do men only want skinny women?

His answers were pretty cool, but allow me to reiterate, not every guy wants someone that is a size 2 and under.  It is the biggest lie that women have ever been fed!  Actually, let me rephrase this statement, it is the biggest lie that MODERN women have ever been fed!

If you look at paintings from centuries past, those women would be naked and pretty "lumpy".  Why was because larger women were wealthy and the skinny women were poor women from the lesser desirable class.  But let's fast forward to more recent times when the model Twiggy came out.  She was the first really super skinny model out there, mean even Marylin Monroe was a size 12-14 remember.  But when Twiggy came along that was kinda when the shift from larger sized to skinny started.  I know a lot of people sorta blame her, but I don't blame her.  I blame the designers who saw her as an opportunity to cheap out on material for making clothes and started telling women "if you want to wear OUR stuff, you'd damn well better be a size 10 or under!" that's how all this weight stuff started and it's only gotten worse since then.

Another problem is this insane notion of a Body Mass Index.  The BMI is invented by some guy about 200 years ago, who said it was not an accurate measure of someone's overall health.  What happened is some 200 years later it has become a profitable scheme cooked up by the health and life insurance industry to justify not paying for health issues related to problems "fat" people get.  Never mind that you can be thin and have diabetes or high blood pressure. Hello, how many times have I told you about my ex-boyfriend Alex, who was thin and worked out, but had UBER high blood pressure and cholesterol.  There are any of the myriad of problems that are unfairly associated with being "fat" people problems, even though the they aren't mutually exclusive.  How many times can I repeat, I am a size 22, but my sugars are not even close to diabetic range, my cholesterol is picture perfect, and my blood pressure is a little high, but it's mostly due to the stressors in my life, not my sodium intake.  Other than my numerical weight, I am the picture of health.

But let's get to the meat and bones of the topic, weight and attractiveness.

So I'm going to bring this story up again, but this time I'll tell the full story.

It was the summer of 2004 and I had just returned to Philadelphia, after spending 9 months in a relationship in Delaware that wasn't a good time in my life.  But I was recovering and had started to date again and I had met a man online from the United Kingdom named Paul.  Paul was an executive from a well known international company and we had "talked" for a few months when finally he was coming to Philadelphia on business and we decided to meet.  We met I think on either a Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon at Fat Tuesday's on South Street.  So I got there before him and waited and about 10 minutes of waiting later Paul walked in.

Now before I say what I'm about to say, I want to say that I love my fiancee and I think he is very handsome, but Paul was the single most beautiful man I'd ever dated in my entire life!  He was at least 6'4, dark brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, well dressed, and muscular.  Then add a deep English accent to that and...  Oh....  Pardon the expression, but he was panty dropping gorgeous!  I had never seen a picture of him, so when he walked in I was just...  Dumbfounded by how hyper sexy he was.  But, he sees me (because he had seen pictures of me before) and he introduces himself and I almost couldn't talk, yeah he was that lovely!  But after I pull my eyes back into my sockets and clean the drool off my mouth, I introduced myself and we eat lunch and talk, and we walk around the city.  And while I'm walking around I notice that I was getting the WORST glares by women who were "skinny" and jealous I was with someone like him.

I will never forget there was a woman who was very intently watching us as we were together, so we both notice this woman and Paul turns to me and says, "Should we give her something to look at?"  I kinda look at him like bwuh, when he full on kisses me on the lips and she gasps!  Oh sexy- sexy Paul.  You truly were a very lovely man and I am happy to have dated someone that at least once in my life.

I told you about my date with Sexy Paul to say this.  Not every man on the face of the planet likes thin women.  There are a lot of men out there who are very attracted to larger women.  Just because you're a larger sized woman or man for that matter doesn't mean that you'll never have a relationship, love, marriage, family, the whole enchilada.  I know lots of larger men and women and a few of them are in very happy marriages/ relationships, so it can happen to you; you just need to stop feeding into this whole fat shaming culture.

With the fat shaming culture you are made to believe you aren't deserving of love and affection because you're a "big fat heifer".  Bull shit!  Everyone regardless of weight, ethnicity, ability, religious heritage, sexual preference, whatever the case may be!  Everyone is deserving of love and more importantly respect.  But before you can seek love and respect from others you have to seek it within yourself.  Until you love and respect yourself, you're not going to find that happiness.  When you do find that love and respect for yourself, you will find all these wonderful lovely men who are super sexy and love plump women.  I find that people who are confident attract others who are confident.  If you're all wishy-washy and needing constant reassurance...  Please, no one has time to deal with that trash!

If you love you, and I mean the TOTAL package that is you (fault, flaws, vices, EVERYTHING), then you'll find someone who will love the TOTAL you package.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
envirion
May. 23rd, 2014 04:04 pm (UTC)
*claps* This is a good post. If it were on tumblr, I'd reblog it. *nodnod*

Mentioning Twiggy reminded me of another article I read about how it's really women who saw Twiggy as the ideal female form but men at the time liked Barbarella better? and the ideal female body to women and men diverged. Wish I could find the link... :d
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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